Paging Chief Wiggum

So, I went to the local constabulary to report that someone's been messing with my tires. Here's how it went:

Me: I want to report that someone's been messing around with my tires.

Lethbridge's Finest: What? H'uh? What are you talking about?

Me: Someone's been loosening, and in some cases, removing the bolts that keep my tires on.

LF: On your car?

Me: Yes.

LF: Do you know who did it?